Friday, April 4, 2014

Why I am making an RPG for an album release

Burning the proverbial midnight oil working on my game has brought up a myriad of self-proposed questions...some of which I am barely honest with myself sometimes. If I could stop and just randomly blurt out why I think I'm doing this, we may come closer to a clearer picture/explanation:

1) Original Black Heroes: where the hell are they? Why does a comic book hero, or a movie character have to be re-fitted with a black image? Half the time it feels as if the African American community are being fed table scraps of acknowledgement! Why can't we have our own heroes to cheer for?

2)  Occupying your time effectively: games do that well! Music and gaming go together like peanut-butter and jelly. The average album will take no more than an hour of your time...I honestly wanna try my hardest to take over your life. I want my music to reverberate thought your day even when you saved and exited the game. Yes, I'm totally trying to own you. If Bungie could admit that, why couldn't I?

3) It's a cool ass concept, admit it. I've received more positive feedback than anything else! Some people are so dead-set in their ways regarding hiphop, that they feel as if an artist coming to the table couldn't possibly know how to do stuff like scripting...lolotron, this is the age of the DIYer. Direct inspiration for following my own drummer comes from non other than Danny Brown, and his takeoff from indie to commercially successful artist. I'm not here to fit a mold, or get a pat on the head anymore. I am attempting to create a successful product that will financially secure my family and closest friends. It's been allot of work, but I still hold to this project being great.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Joy and Uncertainty

I terrible at updating; I've recently welcomed a new addition to my family! In the weeks following the delivery, I faced an odd change of mood/state of mind. While things such as depression were always a near and constant factor, anxiety wasn't. Even with this being my third son, a wave of uncertainty hit me in ways I cannot truly begin to explain.

My ups and downs led me to re-open my FL studio 10 and review all of the sessions that I have yet to finish, and beats I nonchalantly left to collect dust...and it made me start to wonder, "What the fuck have I been doing?". All of this work...squandered, over reasoning that can't really hold to much. The issue at hand is how do I move about in a production fashion?

Almost anyone can do music, but very rarely do I run into people who provide the varied services one would require to "pop" so to speak. This is arguably one of the biggest reasons for working on my game...I'm hoping the media I use to create my work of art will drawn people in. You know, if you build it, and all of that jazz.

All in all, I'm still working on music. I just need to actually get a plan of action soon.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014


I truly hope everyone had a happy and peaceful holidays, and an even moreso new years evening. I've been away from regular updating for various reasons...but the biggest one I can think of would honestly be, "improper time management". I tried doing too many things at once (again) without having some for of organization...what I thought was organized still came out as a mass of random actions in multiple, in order to not let that happen again, I broke down and got a planner for my desktop. I know exactly what the work flow is for the day, and abide by it to the letter. So far, so good! I can make sense of what I'm working on, and give myself a definitive deadline for whatever it is I'm attempting to accomplish, be is game stuff or music stuff.

On the music front, things have been lookin up; as an almost direct result of staying away from social media and sticking to my planner, music output has increased lately. I really wish I could just release stuff the way I used to, but I'm working the kinks out of stuff before I just throw it out there. All I can say for now is that I definately have some stuff I feel good about.

It's official, I have a manager! DJ Chevy has always been in a position to mentor and guide me through this music stuff in a sense, so I really appreciate him showing the support.

With all that said, I'm truly aiming for for a productive year with some gainful results. Definitely doing more shows, production, and recording, along with working on my commercial project.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Blessed up and ready to battle

My mom decided to come into town to come see me the other day. This is such a rare event, I often recoil at the thought; it's no longer teenage angst, or bitter sentiment. Rather, it's coming from the notion that I do not have enough to show for myself. That is something I wrestled with for a long time.

In the conversations that followed these past two days, I've come to realize that I don't give myself enough credit. I am literally my own worse critic.

When the SOB's show got postponed due to a shooting (yes, a shooting really occurred the night before), I listened to my production on the bus...and felt a mini panic attack; it was no longer contestable in my mind, and it started to play games with my pride abit.

My mom did the strangest thing (well, at least at the moment to me): she prayed for me. Now I know, some people are not of a religious background, and it's not like I go to church every Sunday...but the power I felt afterwards couldn't be shaken. Perhaps it was more than faith in a higher...maybe the fact that my mother truly believes in my endeavors brings me strength...but something about it felt...unearthly. I cannot deny that I believe it to be true.

S'all good, I'm back on the balance beam, per say. They settled on a date to reschedule, so I'll be back in NYC October 3rd to battle it out, and get some much needed publicity for my game. Looking forward to it.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Back to shows again

Been updating this thing a lot recently. (o_o)

With the event in NYC coming up soon, I've been more so focused on that than anything...I mean, nobody drives 6 1/2 hours to loose anyway, so I'm working hard on what I wanna showcase.

But in the midst of preparing for this event, I realized how long it's been since I've done a show...and it hit me: I gotta get out more.

Originally, I didn't feel too proud of my work, as in it felt good getting the music out, but I felt that it wasn't worth buying or paying money for; I felt most efforts were rushed or the process was muddled where an untested and unsure MC meets pseudo-music professional(s). It was bad timing meets an eagerness to please...I think all artists go through it, but I'd rather keep it real and be my own worse critic than walk around like I was a phenom from the rip...nah, I was alright, then I tried doing different shit, and it added up to feeling inconsistent. I was honest with myself about it because I felt like, and STILL feel like, where I should be is waaaaaaayyyyyy higher than what I was putting out.

DJ Chevy once told me that there should never be a reason an artist should go a day without writing a song. His reasoning was that it was good practice and a way for an artist to find themselves, for an MC, to find a suitable flow. So that's exactly what I started doing from the eve of my last mixtape...I think I put out Chocolate Soy Milk last year late fall? Well, either way it was parts good, but as an overall it felt disjointed and I wanted to do better.

So, I stopped everything and focused on creating my own production and improving my bars. I wanted to be, still want to be, more than some halfway decent rapper...I wanted to be an independent artist that pulls from a deeper skill set than my peers. Somehow learning production and home studio recording lead to the beginning of creating of my game/album, but the disconnection has my small fan base shrinking because I haven't been consistently putting out new music...nor have I been getting out there as much as I should.

With that said I gave in, and plan on doing another show aside from the SOB showcase, this time at Jergel's Rhythm Grille in Warrendale PA:

It's going to be October 17th, and I'll be showcasing new music, including some that will be in the game! Gotta love cross-marketing!

Pretty decent sized venue as well. The plan is to still focus on this event in NY, but as soon as that is over start linking up with the college radio stations, the DJs, people in my neighborhood...just everybody. I'm going to, as I might have previously said, continue to release free music to create the buzz for the game/album. The shows won't be free, but at least everyone gets something.

If you've been supporting up until this time, words cannot describe how much I appreciate ya'll. If it wasn't for your support and encouragement, I would have been quit. It is my sincere hope that more people see what I'm doing here, as an independent artist, and spread the word, especially since my efforts are towards a good cause. So check out the music, buy some tickets, and come have fun!

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Looking Forward

It was inevitable...I mean, I made room for the notion of growing past the basis of what others would define me as (Internet/Hobby rapper), but I didn't imagine it would be this fast...or weight this much.

Still preparing for the September 12th competition at SOB's, but I can't lie, some things got me particular the recent proposition brought my way by a potential female with a background in accounting, and a sade-like quality to her this is crazy...crazy marketable.

I don't know for certain if I am at a point to dictate the potential career of others, but they see me doing what I'm doing and want to join the cause...which is rather unnerving. I'm so used to just casually working on my own that it's a shock...that cold water I needed to wake the fuck up and cut the half-assedness out because people are actually relying on me now...well, person, but at this rate it seems like I'm not going to be a solo-dolo artist.

Still focused on the competition, just looking past it and into the future where me causally rapping isn't do-able...I can't be a hobby nigga anymore. So much more to think about that I just can't think about anything else...and it's like staring off the cliff into the waterfall you have no choice but to jump off. Holy shit bruh.

Much respect to those who jumped unhindered; music really is a business...and success isn't always equivalent to talent, as much as it is hard work and dedication. Seems like I'm going to be following into the plunge sooner than I had expected.

Now I have that much more to take in consideration as things move forward.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Early, not late, registration

So now September 12th is set in stone; I just registered for the event, with 10 tickets waiting for me and some people I'm meeting up with in NYC. Special thanks to Lucky of Empire Ent. for sending me the info. We met up during a training exercise in the Army, and have been in touch ever since. That's not a street nigga bond, that's a soldier's bond. That holds more weight than a civilian could ever fathom.

Right now, I'm not nervous...just stupid focused. My relationship with my woman just flopped, I got another kid on the way...and I just can't take anymore l's in life. I gave that my all, but sometimes, love just isn't enough.

Randomly listening to Yelawolf's "Love is not Enough" from his Trunk Muzik mixtape.

You can't force people to grow, or dedicate themselves to a cause they are half-heartedly in.

No disrespect, but Drake couldn't have possibly started form the bottom...because it's so hard to grasp that I'm in the cesspool, back in the projects broke and my back against the wall with not a friend in sight.

Yet...never before have I felt so determined to win. I am angry as fuck, fed up with bullshit, and done with trynna build something special with people who are only out for self. My 16's got stupid strong all of a someone's pumped steroids into them intravenously.

B rabbit moment, anyone? Hahah

So far I have 2 that I'm certainly using for the competition. I have round one picked (pink panther sample with some added spices), and the final round (My game's title track).

Since the first round is 90 seconds, I'm planning on writing out some bars for that track. It's gonna be titled, "2 Bby Mommas". I plan on cuttin' the fuck up on that stage, hahahah.

round two is a tad touchy...not sure but I've narrowed my sample selections to two choices. I'm prayin' on this win...but I'm preparing just as much. 3 left to go with more than ample time to tweak and finalize.

I don't know what type of competition I'm facing, but I'm not driving to NYC just to loose...simply because I can't afford to anymore. I almost feel like my life is on the line, not my pride...literally, my well being, my soul, hangs in the balance.

I need this win like the air I breathe.